I have been going crazy trying to stock up on things for our new place before we move in on October 1. Those first two weeks of October are going to be insanely hectic—we move in on the first, and then head back to RI that Sunday to get everything ready for our wedding on the 10th. I’m trying to make sure everything is settled and ready to move in as soon as possible, because come October 11th, I want to be able to come home to our beautiful new apartment and enjoy our honeymoon staycation.
A lot of my friends that have gotten married recently have bought houses right before or after, but we opted for an apartment for now. There were a few things that influenced this decision; I’m still looking for a steady job and don’t know where I’ll wind up, Ricky’s thinking about searching for a new job soon, we don’t want to completely deplete our savings, we don’t want to be tied down to a place forever… the list goes on. But that’s not to say I don’t still find myself feeling jealous of everyone buying houses around me—even if the decision to rent was influenced by my concerns.
I think it’s normal to be jealous of people we see going down paths similar to our own. There’s a natural comparison that happens there. Well, she’s also getting married and she’s moving into a house now and I’m only getting an apartment. What am I doing wrong? I find myself asking that a lot. What am I doing wrong? Why are others so confident in this decision and I’m not?
Well, the answer is easy. I’m not doing anything wrong. Others are confident in the decision to buy a house because that’s the path they’re meant to take—and their path is not mine. That’s okay!
Buying a house is a huge decision. We looked for a few weeks when I first moved down here, and we even found one a few towns over that we thought about putting an offer in for. But just before we pulled the trigger, we decided against it. The house was about 20 minutes north of us right now—which means it would be 20+ minutes further of a commute wherever we wound up, since the job market in the area wasn’t so great. It all happened so fast, I felt like we didn’t really have the chance to have a conversation about it, so I slammed on the brakes. It was difficult to decide to walk away from home ownership, but it was definitely the right choice for us.
A week after deciding not to buy, we found the most perfect apartment in exactly the area we’d been hoping to wind up in. We’re a town over from his family, a few neighborhoods away from my stepdad’s brother, right near downtown and the shopping centers, but still in a quiet neighborhood. It hit all of our markers, and when we got the approval I felt like a weight had lifted off my chest.
One day we have dreams of buying a house, when we’re more established and ready to settle and maybe start a family (emphasis on the “maybe”) but for now, renting is 100% our path. That’s something I have to remind myself of every so often—something everyone should remind themselves of. Your path is yours alone. It’s not something that you can compare with others, it’s unique to you. What’s good for one isn’t good for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. Instead of being jealous of others’ paths, be happy for them and enjoy your own unique ride!