Things No One Tells You Before Moving Out of State

Happy Wednesday!

I am back after about a six-week hiatus, and I’m super excited to introduce some new categories of content to my site! These past few weeks have been insanely busy in my personal life; I finished my Masters, started the process to postpone my wedding reception in October, and moved from Rhode Island to Maryland. August has been insane, but I’m very much looking forward to what September and October will bring!

To kick off this little blog-refresh, I wanted to do something a little different. I’ll still be posting book-related content regularly (once a week, as long as I can keep up with my reading schedule) but today I want to share some lessons I’ve learned throughout my move.

Now, we haven’t officially moved yet—our lease begins on October 1—but the process of leaving my hometown to start a new life 400 miles down south has been eye opening, to say the least. Here are a few things I’ve learned my first month down here:

1. You are going to miss your hometown much more than you think you will.

I went back up to Providence last week to get the rest of my stuff packed up and loaded into the UHaul to drive back to Maryland, and when I tell you I was choking back tears most of the time I’m not lying. Providence is and forever will be my home, where my heart and soul belong, and leaving hurt in a way that Teenage Me couldn’t imagine. But the great thing about hometowns is that you can always go back one day, whether to visit or to settle. I’m hopeful Providence is in my cards as a permanent home again one day, but I know this move is essential to my growth as a person right now. When you move out of state, you’re bound to get homesick every so often—but remind yourself why you moved in the first place. You’re here for a reason!

2. You will not talk to most of your friends as frequently as you used to.

Back in RI, I had a small group of friends that I would talk to every day or so. We’d hang out every so often, we’d tag each other in things on Facebook and Instagram and all the things that come with virtual friendships in 2020. Since moving, I’ve talked to exactly two of those friends consistently, and I currently live with one of them. The first couple weeks, it hit me really hard. To go from talking to people every day to what can feel like radio silence in a matter of 24 hours is jarring and upsetting. I don’t really know why it happened, but I know that moving makes friendships harder. I spent almost 5 years in a long distance relationship, so I get it—it’s hard to keep up with people from so far away. Life happens, and even if your friends are posting on social media all the time, you shouldn’t take it personal if it seems you’ve lost touch. When you move, making new friends and falling out of touch with old friends is a given, but if the love you and your old friends have for each other is strong you’ll be able to pick back up exactly where you left off next time you get to chat!

3. Not everyone is going to be happy you’re leaving.

This is a given with any good things that happen in life. There’s always going to be people who are jealous of you—that’s just something you have to live with. But instead of focusing on the jealousy and negativity these people hold in their hearts for you, take it as a compliment. You must be doing something right!

4. But more people will be happy for you than you expected.

Honestly, this was a pretty shocking realization for me. I use social media regularly but I often feel like I’m talking into the void—which I’m fine with! I like having a place to share things, whether people pay attention or not—but over the past few weeks I’ve received a ton of messages from people I never would’ve expected to hear from, telling me how happy they are for me and how excited they are to see my journey. More people are rooting for you than you think! When things get hard—because they will—try to remember all your silent supporters, cheering you on from the sidelines.

5. You’re going to want to call your mom every day.

This is a total cliché, but god is it true. I’ve refrained from calling my mom every day, partly because I don’t want to annoy her while she’s working and partly because it’s tough to get some alone time right now, but man if I could, I would. Growing up, especially as a teenage girl, I couldn’t stand my mom and couldn’t wait to get out of her house. But now that I’m out, I almost miss the bickering and the silly cartoons she watches every night and her obsession with the news. It’s probably the hardest adjustment of all, but the important thing to remember is that she’s always just a phone call or a text away. Just like being homesick, it’s inevitable that eventually you’ll miss your mom (or dad! Or both!) but they’re always going to be a click or call away—and you can always go visit!

I know I’m missing about a million other lessons I’ve learned in this first month away from RI, but these are without a doubt the biggest, most surprising things I’ve noticed so far. Moving is stressful, and scary, and a huge change—but it is so worth it in the end!

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