6 Self Care Essentials When Planning A Wedding

Happy Friday!

Today is an exciting day for me! Due to COVID-19, Ricky and I were forced to postpone our wedding celebration. We’ll still be getting married in October as planned, but with a much smaller ceremony with immediate family and our bridal party. We’re trying to do this as safely as possible while still getting to enjoy our day, so we decided on this small celebration followed by a vow renewal and reception with all our family and friends as we’d planned. As of today, we have 22 days until our wedding and one year until our (hopefully) post-COVID wedding!

I’ve been reflecting on this journey a lot lately. Planning a wedding is stressful to begin with, but add in a pandemic and a million other unusual obstacles and truly, I’m at the end of my rope. It’s easy to get burnt out during the process. I’ve found myself feeling almost resentful lately—especially when I see other peoples’ weddings happening in other areas of the country that are less strict than RI. Why does she get her dream wedding and I have to postpone mine? Why can’t I ever have anything nice? It’s easy to fall down a rabbit hole of self pity and despair, especially at a time like this.

But that’s not helpful to anyone—especially when you’ve got a wedding to plan.

For anyone who has ever gotten married, you know how much goes into it. It’s a lot. It’s so important to take breaks, to check in with yourself, and put your self care first when you’re starting to feel that burn out coming on.

1. Work some relaxation into your ever growing wedding to-do list

It’s important to take some time for yourself! In normal times, I would take myself out to get my nails done, to get my favorite coffee, things like that. I would often go to my favorite coffee and doughnut shop to get work done like addressing envelopes and designing drafts of my decorations. Taking the time to do something fun—something you love, that brings you joy—during all the madness will seriously help you in the long run!

2. Don’t think you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders

Your wedding is the biggest day of your life for some, but that doesn’t mean you have to carry the stress yourself. Yes, it’s a stressful event, but you should be able to enjoy it! Work with your soon-to-be spouse and share the process together—you’re not supposed to do this alone!

3. Delegate!!

Your wedding isn’t just you. Chances are, you’ve got a bridal party, parents, close family members—at the very least you’ve got your soon-to-be-spouse. You don’t have to do everything by yourself! There are people around you that love you, that want to help take the load off you—let them! It’s okay to dish out responsibilities to people who have offered—just make sure your expectations are clear and they’re really willing and able to help!

4. Find things to be grateful for

Sure, it can be easy to fall into a self-pity trap, like I said earlier. But the important thing is to find things you’re grateful for! I might not get to have a full wedding like I’d planned, but I still get to have a small ceremony and a big celebration next year. I might not get to have my whole family there, but I will have the people closest to me by my side. It might not be my dream wedding, but at the end of the day, I’m still marrying my dream guy—and that’s what matters. Try to find the light in every bad situation!

5. Remember the basics

I am definitely guilty of getting so hung up in tasks that I forget to do basic things, like eating lunch, or showering, or—yes—even stopping for bathroom breaks. If you’re like me, it can be really easy to get hyper-focused on something until it rules your life. Remember to take breaks for basic things too, though! Set reminders on your phone if you need to, but don’t let your basic human care fall by the wayside because of DIY decorations or invitation!

6. At the end of the day, remember that this is supposed to be one of the best days of your life!

This is something I’ve been trying to remind myself of a lot lately. I get to marry my best friend! No matter what it took to get you to this moment—all the hiccups, all the drama, all the stress—you get to marry your person. This is one of the best days of your life, and one day you’ll be able to look back and laugh at all the roadblocks you hit along the way.

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